Technically, my blogoversary was last week, but you get this post today because I completely forgot to write this post on time. *throws confetti* Last year, I did a Q&A. The year before that I reacted to your assumptions about me. As you can tell by the title, this year I’ll be reacting to my old writing. Now, normal people would probably pull their favorite, beautiful writing to share on the internet. But, as we’ve well established by now, I’m not normal. So I scoured my devices and found the most cringey writing that I have ever put on paper (or, y’know, my computer).
Please proceed at your own risk because when I say “cringey writing,” I mean Cringey Writing®. These snippets are exactly as they appear in the original documents. I have not edited them, adjusted the
dreadful formatting, or touched them in any way. If you are triggered or emotionally damaged as a result of this post, do not blame me. I have given you fair warning.
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To my voyagers, I want to say thank you. Any time I see that one of you liked a post or left a comment, my heart just leaps for joy. You are all so, so special to me, and none of this would have been possible without each and every one of you. I cannot thank you enough for all the support and encouragement that you have shown me over these last three years. ❤
Now, onto the cringey writing reactions!
Little Red Riding Hood Retelling
Seconds later, Red showed up and noticed the door ajar. Cautiously, she opened the door, and poked her head into the room. Spotting her “grandma,” Red walked to the bedside. “My what big antlers you have,” exclaimed Red. “I don’t remember those!”
“Um…I had them surgically attached to my head.” replied the reindeer.
*laughs* In my defense, I was like thirteen when I wrote this, so I literally had no concept of suspension of disbelief yet. But for real, this is one of my favorite lines that I’ve ever written because I remember thinking it was so clever and fun. I had so much fun writing this short story, and while it’s absolutely the most disastrous thing to lay eyes on as an adult, it has so many fond memories attached to it that I can’t bring myself to truly hate it.
Also, I’m surprised at how well written the dialogue is in this piece.
In that moment, God put it on my heart to tell her the truth. ‘Yes there’s pain and hurt and suffering and death. But there’s also hope.’ I said.
‘Hope? I tried hope once and you know what it did? It left me an orphan who’s only living relative is my uncle!’ the girl said as tears appeared in her eyes.
‘Peace exists because there is a loving God who sent His Son to die on a cross and save you. Hate is still strong and mocks the idea of peace on earth, but because of God’s grace, we can find strength in the pain and faith in death. I don’t know why God allowed your parents to die, but I do know that God is ready to take you in His loving arms and carry you through this.’ I said.
Okay, so this piece was fully a passion project and something that I just wanted to write because I was entirely obsessed with We Heard the Bells on Christmas Day by Casting Crowns. But, as you can see, I had absolutely no comprehension of subtlety. I like to think that I’m a little better at incorporating Christian themes now, but it’s honestly still a struggle. I want to have my characters ask those big questions about religion and God, but I don’t want it to come across as preachy and unrealistic.
I also have no clue why I decided to go with the single-quotation marks instead of the double ones. This was clearly a weird writing moment because I hadn’t figured out that I could single-space my sentences yet, so let’s just move on before I get too nitpicky, lol.
Soldier Love Story
The news hit Chelsea like a car hitting a brick wall. She didn’t know what to say. Here she’d been reunited with one of her patients, only to discover that he was going back to where he’d been wounded in the first place. Every possible emotion hit her over and over again, barely giving her a moment to breathe.
I remember writing this piece and then learning that soldiers wouldn’t be forced to go back into the military if they’d become an amputee, so let’s hear it for a lack of research. *dies a little inside*
This entire piece is equally cringey to this snippet, but I remember really loving it and feeling so proud. However, I’m not so attached to those memories that I can’t admit this was mostly a trash piece of writing that needed to happen to make me better. I think that simile is a good indicator of how reliant I was on cliches…like, was that really the best thing I could come up with? If I rewrote this now, I like to think it would have a bit more oomph to it.
First Attempt at a Novel
“Ow…” I open my eyes and see that I’m on the ground. Hard, cement, gravel-filled ground. I try to sit up and flinch before putting my head back down. “Uhhh….Niiiick??” My vision is slightly blurred, but not enough that I can’t see the blood that’s coating the cement in front of me. I glance up and see Alex leaning in front of me, “Bad dream?” I shake my head, “Nope, living nightmare.” Alex kneels down and begins pressing on my back. “I don’t think you broke anything. Except maybe your pride.” I roll my eyes, “Shut up and help me up.”
I literally can’t say anything about this snippet until I acknowledge that I do, indeed, know how to properly format dialogue now. I don’t know why I wrote it like this? I swear, I did read books as a kid. It’s not like I had no exposure to properly formatted dialogue. I probably just forgot, if I’m being honest, because dialogue is one of the worst things to try and format since there’s a million rules about when you use a period vs. a comma. But that does not excuse my cramming three speakers into one paragraph, and I fully admit that this will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Okay, now that I’ve dealt with the formatting issue, I have to say, I don’t actually hate this part. I had so much fun playing with this novel idea, and I still have this draft saved on my computer. It’s incomplete and a hot mess, but I love it because I remember sitting at my computer and just writing. It was the first project I really wrote that felt like it could be something bigger. It was my first story idea that I thought could become a real novel…a real book. And there’s something really special about those stories—the ones that made us think that maybe we could be writers.
As I’ve said before, this story has been through massive plot revisions. I’ve never actually written the revised plot, but I’d like to eventually write both stories: the original and the revised plotline. I’ve never seen an author publish two versions of the same story, and I think that would be really fun for both myself and my readers. They could see where Hope and Alex’s story began back in 2015, and where it ended with the revised, summer romance plot.
Winx Club Fanfiction
Once his handcuffs where off and the ice was gone, she tried to listen for Sky’s heartbeat. Realizing she couldn’t find it or his pulse,, she leaned over him and began using a gentle spell to warm him.
“Come on Sky…you’re not dead! You can’t be!” She cried as she warmed him
After trying for a few minutes and still finding no pulse, Bloom suddenly came to a startling reality…her true love was gone. Bloom stopped her spell, pulled her legs closer to her body, and cried. She knew she needed to leave this place, but she couldn’t stand leaving Sky.
This…was not one of my proudest moments. I mean, I was super proud of myself after I wrote this scene because I thought it was the greatest Winx Club moment in the history of anything. But, I can’t say I still feel the same way??? I’ve always been a huge fan of Bloom and Sky, so that part hasn’t changed, but I very much don’t like this snippet anymore…mostly because in the next moment she just kisses his dead body which I used to think was ROMANTIC and CUTE. Now, I just think it’s kinda creepy and unhealthy on an incredible number of levels.
All of that being said, I do really like the first line of this snippet because I think it’s some decent writing. But that’s about it.
How to Train Your Dragon Fanfiction
As he turned around he saw that it was Astrid. He had been deep in thought and hadn’t heard the door open.
“Sorry…I didn’t hear you come in.” He said
“I’m sorry too. I should’ve knocked.” Astrid apologized
“It’s ok, I don’t think I’m ever gonna tell you that you can’t come in.” Hiccup said as she walked over and sat down next to him
This was a fun fanfiction to start writing, but again, it doesn’t really have too much sentimental value anymore because I’m in a different season of life now. I still love HTTYD, but I’m not the same teenager who just wanted to marry Hiccup Haddock. I definitely have my moments when I wish I could just hop on a dragon and fly away from my problems, but I’ve grown up, and I think my love for this story has grown up with me.
The only reason I even included this snippet was because I thought it was hilarious that I had Hiccup completely disregard Astrid’s attempt at privacy. I remember that I wrote this after I saw the second HTTYD movie, so this piece focused on Hiccup’s struggle to come to terms with his father’s death and his new role as chief. However, this moment between Astrid and Hiccup is something I just find really cringey and awkward now.
Maze Runner Fanfiction
“Your maze had Grievers too?” Newt asked, his accent sending shockwaves through my chest.
This is the most recent of all the snippets I’ve shared. It is also the most cringey, in my opinion. The fact that I genuinely thought it was a good idea to write the words “his accent sending shockwaves through my chest” will remain the most Wattpad-fanfiction thing I will ever write in my entire life. It will also be my villain origin story because I don’t know how to recover from this level of cringiness.
It was weird looking back at these snippets and realizing that some of them still mean the world to me…while others just don’t, at least not anymore. I don’t think writers should feel like they have to look back and love everything that they’ve ever written, but it’s also weird, y’know? I had so much fun doing this, and I hope that you enjoyed it, too.
I don’t show just anyone my cringey writing, so now that we’re besties tell me: Do you have any cringey writing that you still love? Which of these snippets is your favorite? Did you find them as cringey as I did? Let’s talk about all the old, cringey writing in the comments below.